Dealing With Problems

I have always been concerned to hear someone preach about anger, because the way they handled the topic was out of line with what Scripture actually teaches.

In general the teaching has followed the lines that, (1)"It's OK to be angry, after all, (2) God gave you the emotion, just (3) don't let it rule you or what you do."

(1) Wrong, (2) wrong, (3) right/wrong.

At some point they will quote Ephesians 4:26 as it appears in all translations except one: "Be angry, and do not sin."

The Concordant Literal New Testament takes the only sensible option and turns Ephesians 4:26 into a question. (New Testament Greek has no sentences, punctuation, or even word separation! It’s up to the translator to add it as they see fit.)

“Are you indignant and not sinning?”

That makes much more sense in light of the other verses.

(1) It's NOT OK to be angry, according to the four New Testament passages quoted in the banner.

In summary they say:

"Human anger does not promote the work of God. We should put away from our mouths anger, rage, cursing and abuse. These, and other things, belong to the old nature and grieve the Holy Spirit, and will take away from our reward on Judgment Day."

(2) Does ANGER really come from God?

Of course not.

Just as Lust is the perversion of love, and Greed is the perversion of generosity, and Death is the corruption of life, so Anger is the corruption of self-control.

Those negative things are works of darkness - they don't and did not come from God, who is described as being "Light, and there is no darkness in Him at all." 1 John 1:5.

(3) So is it OK to get angry as long as we don't let it rule us?

Ha!

Did Jesus say that it's OK to lust a little bit for another person, as long as we control it, or don’t let it get out of hand? Of course He didn't. (See Matthew 5:28)

ANGER is no different.

Just as the eyes, especially, are the main entry point for Lust, so annoyance, irritation, indignation, injustice, hatred and unforgiveness are powerful entry points for ANGER.

(4) Is a little bit of Lust OK?

Lust damages and destroys personality and relationships, it does not build them. In the same way ANGER destroys relationships, families, businesses, societies, countries, and more.

According to Job 5:2, "Anger kills the foolish man."

Is that why in the New Covenant we are told to get rid of all anger?

Just as we cannot have a little bit of Lust (much like someone cannot be ‘a little bit pregnant’), so we cannot afford to allow any anger to enter in or stay.

Knowing that is not the same as achieving it, but it's a good place to start! If we think a certain amount of anger is OK, we'll probably never be able to put it away as we are urged in Scripture to do.

(5) Can we have 'Righteous Indignation' about our own or someone else's mistreatment?

Not if we believe James 1:20, which says that 'man's anger does not work the righteousness of God'.

Since indignation just denotes a particular level of anger, the expression 'righteous indignation', which suggests that we have a good reason to be angry, translates just as well to 'holy sin'. Is there such a thing?

There are much better, non-destructive ways to deal with mistreatment and injustice.

See Say to This Mountain

(6) But wasn't Jesus angry in the temple?

Try as I might I have not found one verse in the various reports of Jesus overturning the tables of the money changers and driving out the animals from the temple which says that He was angry. Not one.

Instead, an entirely different word is used by John to describe how Jesus was feeling at the time.

"And His disciples remembered

that it is written,

'The zeal for Your house will eat Me up'."

That's John 2:17. The quote within is from Psalm 69:9.

What is zeal? Zeal is very earnest or strong enthusiasm for something. It has no connection with anger at all.

Someone said to me once, "But He used a whip to drive out the people!"

It doesn't say that - it says something quite different.

"And having made a lash He drove them all out of the temple enclosure, both the sheep and the oxen..." John 2:15a.

The 'all' in that sentence obviously refers to 'both' of the two types of animals listed, which in those days were quite domesticated and used to being around people. He would have needed a whip to get them moving.

(We can easily get a false impression by looking at art, paintings by highly regarded artists who interpret a scene according to how they see it. Their perception often falls short of Biblical truth, in much the same way that popular Christian music, especially since 2000 or so, contains themes which cannot be backed up by a thorough knowledge or study of Scripture.

It's possible that there were actually two temple cleansings by Jesus, and that John's record occurred at the beginning of His ministry. Even so, Mark tells a more complete story than any of the others in chapter 11 of the event near the end of Jesus' ministry, and within it is enough extra detail to show that Jesus was nowhere near anger when He cleared the temple. Mark's story starts with Jesus riding into Jerusalem to the extraordinary acclaim of the people along the way. When He reached Jerusalem He entered the temple.

"And when He had looked around, observing everything, since it was now evening, He went out to Bethany with the twelve." Mark 11:11.

He had all night to plan what He was going to do. There was no sudden rush of anger here but a carefully calculated plan to draw attention to what was wrong in the House, and to draw attention to Himself as being authorised to be about His Father's business.

Then, "On the day following" (verse 12) "they came to Jerusalem and He went into the temple and began to drive out those who were selling and buying in the temple..." (verse 15).

One of the biggest triggers for anger is when we encounter the unexpected. Jesus had been in the temple many times; He was not surprised or angered by what He saw, but He was certainly stirred up to finally do something about it. His course had been set.

(7) New Testament Scriptures About Anger, and Removing and Replacing It

"So then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work out at all the righteousness of God." James 1:20

"If anyone among you is seeking to be religious but is not controlling his tongue, he is deceiving his heart, his religion is empty." James 1:26

"Put to death in your body, then, these things: prostitution, uncleanness, passion (lust), evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry...Yet now put away all these also: anger, fury, the desire to bring harm to others, cursing and obscenity out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, having put off the old nature with its practices... and put on the new, after the image of Him who did create..." Colossians 3:5-10

"Put on, then, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, bearing with one another and dealing graciously among yourselves...And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...and whatever you do, do in thankfulness to God the Father." Colossians 3:12-17

"Strip yourselves of your former nature...

"And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind...

"And put on the new nature created in God's image...

"Therefore, rejecting all falsity, let everyone express the truth with his neighbour." Ephesians 4:22-25 (TAB)

Since anger in its various forms is given such a bad rap in the New Testament, is there any way to accurately translate Ephesians 4:26a other than A E Knoch's version in the Concordant Literal New Testament? I don't think so...

"Are you indignant and not sinning?" Ephesians 4:26a (CLNT)

"Do not let your wrath last until the sun goes down. Leave no foothold for the devil." Ephesians 4:26b, 27 (TAB)

In other words, deal with anger quickly if you allow it to rise up. Verse 27 clearly states that allowing anger gives the devil a foothold (entry point) into our lives, to attack and oppress us.

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

"Let all bitterness and indignation, resentment and quarreling, and slander be banished from you, with all malice (the desire to bring evil upon others), and become kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:30-32 (TAB)

"And I say, Walk in the spirit, that you might not complete the desire of the flesh..." Galatians 5:16

"And the works of the flesh are obvious: Adultery, prostitution, uncleanness, lust, idolatry, witchcraft, rivalries, disagreements, jealousy, anger, sects, murder, drunkenness, revelry, and the like, of which I told you before, that those doing such things will not inherit (receive their full reward) in the kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-21.

(Note that the expression 'inherit the kingdom' does not refer to salvation, but to the believer's eternal reward which is paid out on Judgment Day, on top of salvation, as 'payment' for the good we did while on Earth. Paul explains how this works in 1 Corinthians 3:8-15. Salvation itself, which Jesus described as to 'enter the kingdom in John 3, is fixed and permanent from the time that we are born again. Please see the section, God's Reward System for a clear explanation, from Scripture, of how this works.)

Galatians does not leave us hanging with just a prohibition on anger but shows how to deal with this and any other problem arising from our old nature.

"But the fruit of (walking in) the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control; against these there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23.

(8) Old Testament Teachings About Anger

The story of Cain is a great example of the progression of anger. (See Genesis 4)

a. Rejection

Because his parents did not deal with their offense in the Garden (they did not admit, confess, show contrition, apologise or repent for what they had done) they passed their strong feelings of rejection onto their first-born. It seems counter-intuitive, but when we don't deal with the circumstances that brought the rejection and the feelings of rejection, we act in ways that bring even more rejection upon us.

b. Wrong-doing

Cain was doing something wrong for his offering to be rejected. Although I have heard it preached that his offering was the work of his hands and therefore represented 'works' rather than grace, that was not the reason. (When God finally codified religious observance in Exodus and Leviticus, offerings of grain were just as welcome as anything else. In fact, Cain was following the mandate that God had given his father in Genesis 3:17-19, to work the ground.)

The clue lies in God's words to him in verse 7:

"If you do well, will you not be accepted?" In other words, there was something wrong in what Cain was doing or thinking. God only ever tries to help us.

"If you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, and you must master it." (TAB) Here was a clear warning of the downward progression that wrong-doing leads to.

c. Resentment

Cain took up farming along the lines that his father had showed him. It's hard work tilling the ground, planting and weeding by hand. Perhaps by the time Abel came along sheep-husbandry had developed, and he chose the softer option? Perhaps that alone built-up resentment towards him from Cain?

Verse 3 shows that Cain led in the offering department, and Abel followed him. When we compare verse 4 with verse 3 there is a suggestion that, while Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground, Abel brought more, the fattest of his sheep and the first-born at that.

There is also a strong possibility that Cain's resentment was directed at God as well (see verse 16 where afterwards "Cain went away from the presence of the Lord"), in the mistaken belief that God had made things tough for mankind following their parents' mistakes in The Garden. For more clarification on this see Parts 12 to 14 in The Equality of Men and Women

d. Sense of Rejection

While Hebrews 11:4 and Jude 11 strongly suggest that it was the type of offering that was presented which led to the different outcomes, Genesis 4 shows something else: the different outcome was not due to what was in their hands, but what was in their hearts. See also 1 Samuel 16:7

"And the Lord had respect for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering He had no respect." Verses 4b-5a.

Cain was upset and thought that he himself was being rejected, but that was not God's idea. God wanted to help him deal with the problem. He told Cain, "Why do you look sad? If things don't go right that means that sin or temptation is working to get hold of you. Don't let it grow into a major issue, deal with it!" Paraphrase of Genesis 4:6b-7

God did not point to the offering or any work attached to that - that was external. Instead, God asked Cain to look inside, at his motivation, his feelings, his heart, and deal with the core problem, his deep-seated sense of rejection.

e. Anger

Even if God doesn't always tell us what the problem is, God always tells us where the problem lies, as was the case with Cain. But how do we know that there was a deep-seated problem with Cain?

We cannot say for sure how Cain knew that his offering had been rejected by God. Perhaps, as at other times in early history, after the offering was laid on the altar God sent the fire to consume it. (Leviticus 9:24, Judges 6:21). Or not, in Cane's case.

Someone without smouldering resentment or rejection might have handled the matter differently and enquired of God what the problem was. Not Cain. He was mad as anything, "exceedingly angry" according to some versions. He looked quite sad as well. (Verse 5) Some translations use the word 'depressed'.

That's part of the problem with anger - because anger (like the emotions that precede it) does not come from God, once we let the enemy in we become subject to malicious thoughts which eventually seem like the only solution to our problem. Depression, where we feel bad about ourselves and what has happened to us, often leads to oppression, which is the temptation to harm ourselves or someone else.

God stepped in to Cain's world with some Godly insight. "If you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, and you must master it." Genesis 4:7b. In other words, if things don't seem to be going right evil is waiting for an opportunity to get hold of us, to get us to do the wrong thing. Put the brakes on, so it doesn't happen.

It's possible to triumph over evil plans and make right choices, but it's oh, so hard to stop once we let anger build up inside us.

f. Hatred

When we find resentment or jealousy we usually won't have to look very far to find hatred, which follows anger. Mixed in with that lot is often pain, either physical, emotional or both. In fact, much pain is the result of emotional turmoil or trauma, either for someone else or for us, that we have been involved in. (See real-life examples in Dealing with Problems.)

When we hate ourselves or a situation that we have been involved in that we have not resolved, in our mind at least, it's not unusual to engage in self-harm. Even Job got caught up in that after he lost everything and was then afflicted with painful sores all over his body. While the narrator says that "he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself," (Job 2:8) one of his friends had a different slant on what was happening:

"Then Bildad the Shuhite answered...You who tear yourself in your anger..." Job 18:1, 4a

Psalm 37:8 nails the progression really well. "Stop being angry and give up rage; don't worry about things, that only leads to evil actions." (Paraphrase)

Very early on, perhaps when we are triggered by resentment or a sense of injustice, we find these malicious thoughts entering our thinking. They seem like our own, genuine thoughts, and even the extreme ones can seem like a logical action to take, but they are evil manipulation from an unseen but very real, external source.

We call it temptation. It often seeks to bring great harm to others, for no good reason. And it did in this case.

g. Murder

It just doesn't seem right. From what I can see Abel was a peaceable young man who did nothing wrong.

But that is the typical pattern once we allow something as minor as a little bit of resentment or jealousy, or a sense of injustice to linger inside us.

Was Jesus thinking of Cain and Abel when He said, "Whoever hates his brother (neighbour or stranger) is a murderer?"

Most of us don't take it that far, but why allow any hatred, or anger, or resentment, or a sense of injustice to enter and, ultimately, to rule or spoil our lives?

Wrong-doing leads to

Rejection, leads to

Resentment, leads to

Anger, leads to

Hatred, leads to

Murder.

(9) Defusing Anger Before It Rises Up

The anger progression follows a pattern something like this:

1. Inconvenience or the unexpected

2. Irritation

3. Frustration

4. Annoyance

5. Becoming upset

6. Indignation

7. Anger

8. Fury

9. Rage

Once we get angry it can be very hard to calm down quickly or undo the harm that our anger has done. The far better way is to look at the triggers and defuse the situation before anger starts to rule.

Here is the list again, matched with some of the Godly thoughts, feelings, emotions or actions that are given to us as alternatives and/or substitutes for the negative-leading-to-destructive thought, feeling, emotion or action that leads to anger, violence and destruction.

Inconvenience/Unexpected 1 Meekness

Irritation 2 Joy

Frustration 3 Patience

Annoyance 4 Calmness

Becoming upset 5 Forbearance

Indignation 6 Gentleness

Anger 7 Self-control

Fury 8 Kindness

Rage 9 Love

Here are more of these Godly responses that were listed back in Point (7); you might be able to come up with some better matches than I have in the list above:

Controlling the tongue; put on the new nature; compassion; humility; dealing graciously; peace of Christ; thankfulness; be renewed in the spirit of your mind; express the truth (not the same as expressing your mind!); be kind; tender-hearted; forgiving; walk in the spirit; goodness; faith and the like.

(10) Dealing With and Removing the Anger Reaction

The methods for dealing with Anger are much the same as dealing with other problems.

Please also see Dealing with Problems for more details and examples.

In Summary:

Proceed through these points, one at a time. Speak out only those things which apply to you, to avoid getting involved with fake words - in other words, after reading through the list you will probably find things which really speak to you - do those to start with. It will probably take several efforts, maybe even a lot, to get rid of anger. Don't give up. Be real - what you say in dealing with problems must come from the heart.

Acknowledge/admit the problem within yourself.

Say something like this: "I've been getting angry; I should not be getting angry. I don't want to get angry anymore. I'm not going to get angry in future."

Or, "I get upset easily when... I should not get upset because that is not the correct way to handle the problem."

Or, "I get really irritated/annoyed when... I should not let irritation/annoyance enter in, because that isn't the correct way to deal with this."

And so on.

Renounce anger in all its forms.

Identify the things that trigger irritation, annoyance, upset and anger before you go any further, and name them at the appropriate time in what you speak out just below.

Say something like this: "I'm no longer going to let things annoy me like... I know that getting annoyed is not appropriate, that it's not a solution to a problem."

"I'm not going to be easily irritated, I'm not going to let things like... upset me. I'm going to be calm instead, because I know getting irritated or upset is not the way to deal with problems like..." and so on.

Look at the Triggers and Disconnect Them

Go back as far as you can remember to see the earliest time that you let anger fly, or fly into a rage. What was happening? Was it a particular person or incident that aroused you to anger? (Bear in mind that no one and no incident can make us angry - anger is a poor reaction we choose to make to a particular circumstance or set of circumstances.)

What stirs you up - is it injustice, for yourself or others? Or resentment, or fear, or a sense of betrayal or hopelessness? Maybe impatience with on-going thoughtlessness from someone else? Or did you find it was a 'useful' tool to get your own way with others?

Go through the 9 point list in Point 9 above and renounce each trigger and stage that is appropriate for your situation.

Apologise before God.

Prayer, talking to God, is meant to come from the heart. It is not meant to be a formal, religious thing. If we read a prayer or 'say' a prayer we are not actually praying - we are acting out a religious ritual which ultimately has very little meaning, and even less effect or effectiveness.

Because God knows who we are and what we are like ("Men look on the outside, but God looks on the heart" 1 Samuel 16:7) there is no point in pretending.

Because God wants to talk with each one of us like He talked with Moses ("And God spoke with Moses like a man speaks with his friend face to face" Exodus 33:11) we should not do all the talking - we need to allow God to feed something back to us.

We don't need to shout; we don't bow our heads or fold our hands (techniques first taught to children, needlessly, to help them concentrate and stop looking around) because we don't do that with our friends, do we?

We don't need to kneel: that's an act of worship, not confession. God is not like the kings of old who required their subjects to bow, kneel and/or prostrate themselves when they came before them in order to receive mercy and not be summarily executed (that is, without trial or defense).

God is not like that!

Pray like Jesus did when He was in the public eye. Just before the raising of Lazarus it says in John 11:41-42:

"And Jesus lifted up his eyes towards Heaven and said, I thank you, Father, that You always hear me..."

On the night He was betrayed Jesus prayed for His disciples and us. In John 17:1 it says:

"When Jesus had spoken these things, He lifted up His eyes towards Heaven and said, Father, the hour has come..."

When He was feeding the multitude it says in Matthew 14:19:

"...and He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to Heaven he gave thanks..."

Jesus spent a lot of time teaching that God is our Father, and that we can approach Him at any time without any special words or introduction. In Mark 14:36, on the night He was betrayed, Jesus used a special term of endearment for His Father, Abba. Abba is not God's name, it's an Aramaic word which children in that region first use for their dad, like children in the West might use dad, or dadda, or papa. In other words, there is no need to be formal when addressing our Heavenly father.

We always recommend that people hold out their hands before God, palms up and open to receive, because many people get healed like that without formally asking for healing!

You might say something like this:

"Hello Papa" (or Hi Papa), "I'm sorry, I've messed up. I got angry with...and told them off - I should not have done that, and I don't want to do it again. I know it's not right, and I want to replace anger with self-control, irritation with patience, annoyance with calmness, and just be a loving, joy-filled person at all times. Thank you, Jesus, for setting me free."

Form within your own mind who you want to be and how you want to respond when things don't work out the way you expect. See yourself achieving that goal.

When you fail, if you fail again (and most people will), just go through the same procedure. It works.

Apologise in-person to anyone with whom you have been angry.

Time and time again we have seen people who were suffering from all sorts of sickness or painful conditions be released from their ailment on the spot when they apologised to someone for an offense committed in the past. In some cases the offense took place decades earlier. In every case the person who was offended against was not present. We strongly urge people to make contact and apologise in-person wherever possible.

See Examples here.

An apology begins with the words, "I'm sorry," and then names the actions we took or the words we spoke for which we are apologising.

The apology must be genuine: do not attempt to pass blame onto the other person for 'making you angry'. Anger is the way we respond to a situation, it's a choice, a bad choice that we make. Another person or someone's bad actions or mistake cannot 'make' us angry.

See The Fake Apology and The Genuine Apology

Note that we do not need to ever ask for forgiveness. That suggests that the other person has not forgiven us, which is an 'oh so subtle' way of saying to someone, "You have made a mistake also," or "You are partly to blame for this problem, too."

Unforgiveness by a 'victim' cannot harm a person who has genuinely apologised for their mistake(s). Proverbs 26:2 says, "A curse without a cause (or reason) shall not settle on you." That cause or reason is removed with a genuine apology and efforts to restore or make restitution.

See The Part That Forgiveness Plays

Put on the good things mentioned in Colossians 3:12-17 by saying, "I put on these things: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, bearing with others and dealing graciously with others...And I choose to let the peace of Jesus rule in my heart. And I thank You, God the Father, for all this"

You can also add: "I receive the fruit of walking in the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness and self-control." That is from Galatians 5:22-23.

Then, "Thank you, Jesus, for setting me free."

If you still find anger rising up uncontrollably, with raising your voice, using bad language, making threats damaging property, or actually harming yourself or someone else, it's time to:

Deal with the spirit or spirits behind the anger.

(This section will be expanded)

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